Reflections

A wise woman once blogged "in order to move ahead, you gotta know where you've come from..." 

My relationship with food has never been a normal one. Looking back I think my mother was anorexic. Whenever the were treats in the house you better eat your fill because you never knew when you were going to get it again.  This translated into adulthood as me eating everything in the house.  It was a long time learning that I could buy whatever I wanted so I didn't have to binge.

Add to the scarcity of food and my mother's failed marriages, a step-father closer to my age then her's, being the care giver for my much younger brother, and my mother's constant "you're fat" " no one will ever want to date you because you're too fat," and you get one unhappy kid with no healthy way to deal with life. 

Of course looking back I'd almost kill for the weight I was in high school!!! 

Soooooo, married young, hubby was in the Army, still dealing with my mother, and started having babies. After baby #1 the weight fell off! It was awesome!!! Baby #2 came along and the weight just wouldn't leave. Can you still call it baby weight when your baby is 15?! 

It's funny how family members will talk to you when you become an adult, I discovered that depression runs in the family. Lots of things make sense now! So yes I have also learned to deal with depression, I ate... boredom, I ate... loneliness from hubby working long hours, I ate... evidently I also have some anxiety, so yes I ate... 


I have always run to some extent.  I went to my family doctor and she advised me to exercise more.  Really!?  I was already out there running most days of the week, there was no way I could do more!

June of 2009, hubby was gone on an extended job assignment, the teens were busy with what they had to do, things sucking at our church, friendship department sucking, so I ate and ate and ate. Hubby was gone for 5 months and in the last 2 months that he was gone I gained 30 pounds!!! It hurt to bend over and tie my shoes, I was winded walking up our stairs, I was having anxiety attacks, and some very dark thoughts. 

When hubby came home I told him EVERY thing. I don't normally open up like that and he usually has to just wait me out, but this time I laid it all out. He said whatever it was I wanted to do we would do it, he's always been like that... 

Flash Back: 
On my 29th birthday when I said, "I'm going to run a marathon by my 30th birthday," he said "ok, let's figure out a training plan!" When I freaked out that in 4 years I was going to turn 40 and kid #1 was going to graduate high school and the next was the following year, I said "I need to go back to school." Hubby said "go into aviation it's what you have always loved." I am so unbelievably BLESSED!!! Praise and thank you Father!!!! 

Ok, so where was I??? Oh yes... some friends of mine had been seeing a naturopath for weight loss. I went to see her and did a course of hcg. It really helped break the addiction of white stuff, sugar, flour, rice, etc.  I learned what a person should eat and how bad some "foods" really are.  Finally!  I made the nutrition connection!!! 


Through this journey I have had to deal with things as they come and not self medicate with food. When disappointments happen, I have to find other ways than food to deal with my emotions. When anxiety hits, I have to turn to something else other than food. It's working so far. 

I am so happy with the past year and the accomplishments I have made.  What are those you ask?  I've lost 70 pounds, I am consistently eating healthy, I don't miss soda or junk food, and my running has never been better!!!  I'm running faster than before, I can run a 1/2 marathon on any weekend I choose (actually I've been doing that distance every weekend for quite sometime now), and I'm currently training for a 50K!

It's good to reflect on the past.  We must always remember the past so we do not repeat it, well the bad parts anyway.  


God bless!!!

20 Years of Marriage

This morning the alarm went off, I rolled over and cracked a very tired eye at my sleeping hubby.  The first thought that went through my mind was 'I should go run and get it over with so Bri and I can spend the day together uninterpreted.'  My second thought, 'today is our 20th anniversary.  No more, we will be married 20 years next year, next month, next week, tomorrow... tomorrow was here!  Wow.'

The reality of it all was AM carpool, a stop by the store to pick up last minute Valentine chocolate for the kids, my morning miles, and then the rest of the day dedicated to my honey... only interrupted by dog duty and delivering dinner to the kids at school after rehearsal.

So what does a couple do for their 20th?  Well the party was on Saturday.  We had a great time with most all of our friends and family that were there in the beginning including our off spring.

It was great to reminisce and make new memories.  I think my favorite quote of the night was, "you know back then we all thought you guys were nuts?"

So today was just to spend some time together.  First a very romantic lunch.  Apparently Chipotle's is becoming a tradition, we did this last year too. LOL..

Then at the end of the evening a family dessert 

What did I learn today?  I am a very blessed and lucky woman.  Well, I guess I didn't really learn that today, I've known this for a loooooong time.  God has blessed me richly with a wonderful man who is a great husband, father, provider, friend, supporter, and encourager, among many, many other adjectives.

What do we have to show for 20 years?  We don't have the biggest house or the newest cars.  However, we do have a deep and meaningful relationship that has weathered the test of time (so far).  We have two children that we are very proud of.  We have a love that surprises us both and has grown deeper over the years.

I cannot wait for the next 20 years!

I love you honey!!!

Always Learning

I firmly believe that you can always learn something from a successful run as well as from a horrible run.


The same then holds true for races.  Saturday January 29, 2011 was the 17th Annual Arizona Road Racers Desert Classic Marathon, Half Marathon, 5K, and Marathon Relay.  I signed up for the 1/2 and intended on using it as a training run.  The plan, take it easy, not go out too fast, but still hoping for a good time since it was a race.  


My son and I arrived early to volunteer.  I understand there were a few hiccups with volunteers.  Our first was when directed to go to an aid station several miles out that was "already set up."  It wasn't, no one was there, so I left my poor son in the middle of the desert, in the dark, all alone. I had to get back to the start to, well start. I know I'm horrible.  I told him to file that one away for his therapist. ;) 


Lessons Learned
Lesson #1: Never pass up a port-o-potty, even if it's in the middle of the race course and dark.  I made it back to the start with 15 minutes till start and got in line for the 3 port-o-potties for well over 300 people.  I should have stopped at the one I passed while dropping my son off.


Lesson #2:  The race will go on, use the potty even if it means you start late.  You are being chip timed, it's for fun, so what's the big deal anyway?  I mean seriously I'm not going to win any medals.  I actually learned this lesson after I was done and overheard a gentleman saying he started 15 minutes late because of the potty situation.  Boy I wish I had been that smart!  My apologies to the volunteer how took my chip.  :(  So yeah, the end was not pretty but I made it.  


Now for the best part!  I PR'd!  Yea! Me!  


I'm seriously thinking I need to have two sets of PRs, those pre and the post weight loss.  It's like two totally different people out there running. 


Remember, try to learn something from every run. 


Happy running!